My King
by MissCrowley
Summary: As we had danced around the room that night I knew something was strange. Not exactly on my King's part, but the guests that had attended the party that evening. They were quite odd in their mannerisms, and I hadn't known it then, but I was mostly in the company of demons. I was so innocent and untainted then, my simple mind so excited to be on a blind date with someone so refined.
1. Beautiful Crazy

_HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS. This is based on a real hospital visit, so be warned if you are sensitive to talk of suicide attempts or self harm. This is the only chapter like this. Future triggers will be posted at the top of future chapters if there are any._

Although I was trapped amongst my own insanities my King was beside me. He was adorned all in black yet again, his eyes becoming a strange hue of red as they took on their true demonic nature to assure me that all was as it seemed. He sat beside me in a green institutional chair as he watched me closely – I trying to stay awake. The television was on behind us and the other patients were talking amongst themselves, I left to my own devices. Thankfully my King had come to join me.

"Quite a predicament you've got here, sweetheart."

"Yes, I know."

My cheeks turned red as I made an attempt to seem normal, as I tried to keep calm and pretend as if the very King of Hell himself were not present at my side. If it weren't for the occasional flicker of red in his eyes none would have surmised he was anything more than a man. He was my King though, and I his broken human Queen.

My breath hitched as his hand slid across my arm, across the very spot where I'd attempted to end my life. For a moment his face grew cold, almost somber, but I knew better. He may have cared in his own unconventional way, but nothing akin to human sentiment.

"Beautiful marks - works of art."

"Yeah. They are, aren't they," I agreed. I too found them darkly romantic in their symbolism. What I felt when I created them – I found it a curious thought: Is that what it felt like to be a demon? To find joy in pain while being completely devoid of all human emotion? Why... why would my King love me then?

"Because you are not like the others."

"Of course not," I sarcastically replied. I stared at him in exasperation through lowered eyes. I was sitting in a mental hospital, my life previously in the balance due to my own ridiculous insecurities, my arm fucked up as if it had fought with a meat grinder, and my mental state much too unstable to brave the outside world. I felt his hand upon my knee as I screamed inside, his fingers brushing across the injuries I had inflicted there. I hadn't flinched at his touch as I did previously. It was a comforting and welcome gesture, and one that seemed to cause the storm in my mind to recede. I looked up into his eyes fully and saw a burning intensity there, one that caused a curious stir in the pit of my stomach. If only I could have left with him then; if only he could have just taken me back to Hell with him for just a little while.

"Not yet, love," his heavy English accent drawled. I pleaded with my eyes; what use was a pathetic human like me to a demon King? He may have called me Queen, but I couldn't share the sentiment in my current circumstances. I only felt like a broken shell of a twenty-something woman – definitely not someone worthy of being at the King's side. "Once you are out of here, I will convince you."

"Waiting... Of course, Crowley. I'm always waiting anymore." At least it would give me a reason to hold on. Escaping this place would reward me with my King at my side, no barriers left between us. I was grateful he was there with me then if nothing else, and although he may not have been capable of compassion he did at least provide comfort with his presence. It was really all we could do but sit and communicate silently anyway. Everything we had to say no one would have understood, and it would have simply attracted unwanted attention. He normally wouldn't have cared, but it seemed he was in a generous mood that day. 

* * *

><p>Another night passed in that horrible place while he remained at my side, and the next morning I found myself seated in the back corner of the community room. Although I claimed to feeling better, it couldn't have been further from the truth. Even my King with his lack of human emotion could tell as much. He was beside me once more that day which confused the living Hell out of me. Why he cared so much, rather why he even bothered with me was a complete mystery. His presence lightened my mood considerably though, and at least he was one I could connect with in that lonely place. The others there really had no interest in speaking to me.<p>

"They don't see the potential within you that I do." These were comforting words that I needed to hear. It was all too often a problem that my social anxiety caused my own loneliness. It was funny really - that my closest friend now was a demon and I his Queen to be. He found that thought humorous, of course. "In time, darling."

"Why must I wait? Is it because of my humanity? Why even show interest in me?"

"That right there is your problem. You're not ready yet."

"Self esteem, shitty self esteem, and impatience are parts of being human, Crowley. These things cannot always be controlled."

"That I can help you with." He laughs humorlessly, "one would think the prospect of being a Queen would do well for a self esteem kick in the ass."

I bit my lip to hide my smile and looked away as shyness overwhelmed me. Why I found him so charming was beyond me. Although ageless his vessel was well into its forties, and it had certainly aged quite well. I was still in the summer of my life at twenty-five, but was it so wrong to be swept away by this demon? No, it couldn't have been. He wasn't even a human.

"Age is a human construct, darling. You're much too concerned with mortal laws. You can't expect to awaken your inner Queen like that."

"I know, I know. It's just strange for me, the fact that you're so-" My face flushed as anxiety claimed my heart. The words refused to escape my throat that had gone dry as my King watched me with raised eyebrows in interest.

"So-?"

"So... alluring? Is that the word I'm looking for?"

"A possibility. I was hoping for 'sexy', but 'alluring' will do."

I laughed fully out loud, no doubt attracting much attention from the others on the opposite side of the room. My mind kept drifting back to that awkwardness from before and the age gap issue popped into my head once more. Ironic that – my King was timeless, ageless, a demon. There was no physical, human gap to even consider. His body was only a vessel. An attractive vessel.

As a sigh escaped me I looked around to find that my King had gone. Loneliness set in and my heart sunk. I missed his presence already even if it was a cold one. It was at least warmer than the sterile walls that surrounded me, their beige tones dull and tiring. There were words on the walls, ones full of confidence and healing: 'Dream', 'Pray' (had I heard him laugh then?), 'Relax, 'Joy', 'Happiness', 'Sing', 'Dance', 'Imagine', 'Hope', 'Faith' (another laugh, possibly), 'Believe', 'Peace', and 'Love'.

These were affirming words – words that pacify. Of course they would have been in a place like that, a place where people went when all hope was lost. A place they would turn to when they'd forgotten peace, or how to dance – how to dream or how to be happy. It was a place of recovery, but it was distressing to me. I'd managed to spark small conversations, trivial ones occasionally with the other patients, but nothing that had lasted or even mattered. My only one companion in that awful place, my King, had left me for the time being.

There was a group therapy starting soon, but all I wanted to do was sleep. I was so tired, so exhausted from my nightly panic attacks and restless sleep cycles. Part of me was already heading back to my room to rest, but my physical body remained where I was. I wanted to get out of there as soon as I could, and in order to do that I had to conform.

"Okay, I can't stand it anymore! Where are you Crowley?"

"You rang?"

I turned around quickly and saw him standing there, and relief overwhelmed me. "Please, just take me away from this horrible place."

"I've already told you, I can't do that." My heart sank as the words pierced straight through, and his expression softened only slightly. It seemed he had taken pity upon me. "I can, however, in your mind."

I swallowed hard as he approached me and placed a hand upon my head, running his fingers through my hair in a soothing motion. Before I was physically aware, I was falling. 

* * *

><p>Ironically at first it was cold as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over my head, dissipating the further it coursed down my body. It then became unbearably hot, and I was almost certain that my brain would melt within my skull. My stomach felt queasy and my head began to spin, and before the urge to be sick overcame me it all came to a stop. All of my senses returned – for the most part – and I instantly felt better. Better than I'd ever felt to be honest.<p>

I opened my eyes once I had gathered myself, but they weren't my physical eyes. It was almost as if I had produced a new set of eyes that were very much ethereal, as if I were seeing with the eyes of that which I was going to eventually become.

"Everything you've expected?"

I looked around with my new eyes to observe a sterile, dim institutional hallway. It was oddly reminiscent of the terrible place I was already in, except for the strange amber lighting on the ceiling. None too inspiring to say the least. It all seemed so fuzzy around the edges as if I were in a dream; a dream that was quite vivid but would only come back in muddled parts upon waking.

I blinked once and found myself in a new location; an ornate office covered in what looked like cherry wood furniture, a large desk in the middle near the back. Not all was too terribly clear, but it was apparent whose office it was. It would be my office some day as well, and I would share it with my King soon. Very soon. I had to get better first. 

* * *

><p>When I came to I was staring into space with my eyes solely focused on the windows before me. The nurse's station was in clear view through the glass, a patient standing before the slitted safety windows complaining about something or another. I quickly regained my composure and looked upon my King in wonder. To share such an intimate experience – to be able to become so close together in that moment left me breathless. My heart fluttered with excitement as I continued to stare awkwardly, and he lifted an eyebrow as a look of amusement shone in his dark eyes. He placed a hand under my jaw to close my mouth, which had apparently been hanging open for longer than I'd be willing to admit.<p>

"Mesmerized?"

"I want you- IT! I want IT!" He lowered his eyes with interest as I uttered the words that were meant to remain secret. A blush as deep as crimson burned hot in my cheeks as I tried to disappear completely. I had finally said it aloud. I had tried to become brave and admit it before, but my attempts only ended in a stuttering mess, or some awkward deviation from conversation that went so far into left field it didn't even make sense. Jumbled words and odd facial expressions - that's all that had ever become of that. The elephant in the room had finally been acknowledged though, so it was time to face it. I needed him.

"Interesting. Only moments ago you were fretting about the age of my vessel," he teased.

"I honestly don't care about that. A number – that's all it is. The real you, my King, is timeless." He took my hand to observe the many cuts on my arm before bringing them to his lips to kiss them lightly. A shiver ran down my spine.

"Now you're getting it." 

* * *

><p>The day had finally come, and it couldn't have come fast enough. I was leaving that lonely place at last, and I was finally able to join my King and see all that he had to show me. My expectations were high and a giant rush of hope came over me in that moment. Why I'd ever wanted to die I could no longer find reason for. There was too much to live for now. I had to prove to my King that I was worthy of being his Queen – worthy of being at his side to walk through the gates of Hell arm in arm where we would exist forever until the end of time. I knew it all seemed much too romantic and grandiose, especially if he'd ever heard me speak of it, but I had to hang onto something. I needed something beautiful to hold onto to keep me out of that sterile, crazy place. I didn't belong there. It was only a matter of time before I made a full recovery.<p>

"That's my girl." The compliment uttered by him warmed me to the bone, and it surprised me all the same. I had begun to see a new side of my King that I'd never imagined. I knew deep inside of the very real possibility that he was being superficial, but I allowed myself to enjoy the moment regardless. I had come to welcome, even crave, his praises. I needed them as much as I needed him. I would never forget his significance in my recovery.


	2. Until the Morning

It was five in the morning and I was lying awake in my own bed. A storm had broken out in the angry sky, and I heard the distant but not too far rumble of thunder. Lightning lit up my dark room, and when it faded back out I was once again bathed in the dim light emitted from my small lamp. I had been out of the hospital for two days and I received no sign that my King was still by my side. I hadn't seen him since the day before when I was discharged, and I had hoped he would be awaiting my return home. I had become so accustomed to his visits that I made myself sick with worry. He was a demon after all, and demons were known to be untrustworthy. It was a very real possibility that he had given up on me after my suicide attempt. Maybe he had realized how human I truly was, and that there wasn't a shred of a Queen within me. What was I to an infernal King anyway?

"I am offended, darling. You should know by now that I am a man of my word."

I jumped as a momentary icy fear gripped at my insides, then as my King came into the light my chest flooded with emotion. He had come back for me. I mentally scolded myself for my earlier thoughts of doubt. We had made a contract some time ago, although not too long. I hadn't believed him at first, but when I saw what he really was it had been too late. I had already made the deal.

As we had danced around the room that night I knew something was strange. Not exactly on my King's part, but the guests that had attended the party that evening we'd met. They were quite odd in their mannerisms, and I hadn't known it then, but I was mostly in the company of demons. I was so innocent and untainted then, my simple mind so excited to be on a blind date with someone so refined and kind. He had given me an elaborate gift before the night had even started, and I believe the dress is still in my possession. It was almost a dream come true – 'almost' because better things were to come.

He had waited until I'd enjoyed a few glasses of wine before bringing me in close to whisper the fated question in my ear that would change everything: 'Tell me, what do you desire? I can give you anything you wish, all you have to do is ask and it will be done.' I had laughed then, my naïve mind refusing to believe that, although rich, this man could give me anything in the world. He was much too full of himself surely, so I had humored him. I had asked him then to make me a Queen. A Queen that would be respected and feared, one that would forever be comfortable in her own skin and beautiful.

He had smiled deviously, a dark fascination glinting behind his eyes. It was then that I saw them for the first time – his true demon eyes. He had taken my moment of shock to draw me in for a kiss, one that would forever seal my fate to be his Queen in Hell. That wasn't so long ago, but it felt like ages. It was a deal I had come to accept quite happily, although I'd had a minor setback for a little while. I was only human, but hopefully not for much longer. My human side wished I could relive the night over once more, though. Even though I knew what I'd have to go through I would do it again for my King. Just to feel his lips against mine once more, his hand resting on the small of my back while we danced about the room amongst the others. I would do it all again.

"Remembering old times?" He interrupted my reminiscing and I realized he was standing much closer than before.

"Not that old, but I realized something."

"What would that be?"

"We haven't... We haven't kissed since that night."

He smiled, more so with his eyes than his mouth, and crossed the room to my bedside where he sat and then lowered himself beside me. We were closer in that moment than we had been in a while. I felt it in every part of me – the spark it created. It felt like we were meant to be that way, that it was just right. I only hoped my interpretation of his intentions was true. If he only desired to speak with me I would have felt like an idiot. My mind had other ideas, however. I knew what I wanted, but I wasn't so sure he'd be willing to accept such advances.

"All you have to do is ask. I don't bite... hard."

His tease sent a wave of butterflies through my stomach, and I squeezed my legs together beneath the blanket to keep from squirming. This game he had initiated was a dangerous one, and I knew that very night would be the beginning of something unreal. It was the start of some challenge that I would have to accept, and it would only become more interesting from then on. If that was the case, then I was ready for anything my King had to give me.

"So, what shall it be?"

"I-I want you to. You know, do that."

"Shyness is not becoming of a Queen, love."

I gasped as I felt his hand on my bare leg. It traveled up the expanse of exposed flesh until it rested on my thigh just before the hem of my underwear. The simple touch had ignited a fire deep within me, one I hadn't known for a long time. At least now I was certain that my intuition wasn't wrong, and I felt a rush of bravery overtake me just long enough to turn my head to look at my King. He was watching me – gauging my reaction as his fingers gently caressed my thigh. He was teasing me.

My tongue slid slowly across my lips to wet them and I closed my eyes. It was an invitation that I'd hoped he would accept. It was easier that way, if not cowardly on my part. I just couldn't bring myself to make the first move; for that I had my anxiety to blame. I had improved in some ways since my release from the hospital, but I still had much work to do before I was ready to be at my King's side.

I drew in a deep breath as he responded to my invitation and I brought a hand up to caress the side of his face, my fingers brushing across the expanse of stubble there. A shiver ran down my spine as I tasted him, and I noticed very quickly that his hand had crept even further up my thigh. His fingers brushed across my exposed hip bone, tracing the shape before moving on once more until they reached the elastic of my underwear. A quiet sound escaped my lips as he toyed with me, tugging at the material and snapping it against my skin. What he was trying to accomplish I couldn't figure out, but what he was doing in that moment, the way he tickled and teased my skin – the way he would nip at my bottom lip before going back for more... It was driving me out of my mind. I knew it for certain then: I wanted him. I needed him.

"I made you a promise," he breathed. "I told you that once you had left that place I would convince you of your worth." He grinned as I drew in a deep breath in response to his caresses. "And I do keep my promises."

"How is this supposed to convince me of my worth to you?"

"I'm the King of Hell, love. I don't allow just anyone to get this close."

"So... I'm special, then? It's not just because of the contract?"

His hand became still for a moment before he moved it across my stomach and up my chest to rest over my heart. "Call it whatever pleases you, but right here; this is where your significance lies." He lifted his hand and tapped on my temple. "As well as here." He sat up a bit straighter and looked out across the room as if in thought. I felt an overwhelming curiosity wash over me and I sat up to join my King. I really hadn't a clue as to why my mind or my heart would be of any interest to a demon King, but the only way I was going to know was to ask.

"What's so special about a human mind and heart? Especially mine."

"You lack the ability to see the natural leader within you. You have a very strong sense of independence and a need for acknowledgment and power, but you can't embrace it. Not yet."

"No way." I shook my head in disbelief and laughed. My King did not find it humorous however. "I can't control my emotions or make proper decisions. I have terrible social anxiety and I freak out if I misplace my mobile phone. I still sleep with my teddy bear and I cry at the silliest of things, even dramatic movies. I bend over backwards to help the ones I love and I've neglected my own needs to be selfless. How in the Hell am I independent and power-hungry?"

"You're still sick with the human condition. Once you have begun the healing process, which you already have, you will start to see what I mean."

"Humanity is an illness to you?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it is. An illness I overcame long ago." He turned to look at me and spread his arms. "Now look at me. King of Hell!"

I hummed with contentment and reached out to take his hand in mine, and then brought it to the side of my face. "Yes Crowley, and I your Queen-in-training." He took his hand back slowly and smirked before disappearing before my eyes.

"'atta girl." 

* * *

><p>As I lifted my hand to shield my cigarette from the slight breeze, I flipped my lighter a few times before I finally succeeded. My eyes closed as I stood straight once more and inhaled the cool taste of menthol. It was a ritual I had become addicted to every day upon waking, although it was usually an afternoon occurrence. I hadn't been able to sleep after my King had left the night previous, therefore resulting in my standing on the front deck of my house in the early morning, the dew still fresh on the grass as the sun slowly crept up over the horizon. It was a beautiful and rare sight for me due to my usual sleeping habit of not rising until noon, but I found myself considering a change to all of that. Everything out in the country that early was just... beautiful.<p>

I leaned forward on my elbows against the wooden railing as I blew another puff of smoke into the cool air. Goosebumps formed on my skin as another breeze swept by, and I regretted wandering outside in my white tank top and tan pajama pants. Both were very thin garments that provided nothing but decency for standing outside. I shivered violently once, then remained still as the breeze died down at last. I found it hard to care. Fresh air was much more desirable, cold or not, to the inside. I had spent four days straight in a mental hospital not too long ago after all, and a bit of a chilly morning breeze was bliss compared to the sterile smells of an institutional environment.

"Those things will kill you, you know," a voice mocked. I spun around to see my King standing with his hands in his pockets, still all in his well-tailored glory. The same black suit as always of course, along with a red tie and a knee-length black trench coat. I couldn't hide my smile and I took one extra long drag from my cancer stick.

"I'm honestly not too worried about that." I coughed as too much smoke invaded my lungs. I had made it a rule to not inhale too deeply, but of course I had to be a smart ass and prove a point. My King smirked in response and moved closer to stand directly before me. His hand reached out to take the cigarette from mine and brought it to his lips, and he inhaled deeply before flicking the cigarette out into the dewy yard. Smoke drifted across my face as he exhaled slowly, and I turned my head away to keep from breathing it in.

"Bit early for you, isn't it?"

"I couldn't sleep." A blush crawled up into my cheeks as I looked to the ground. I couldn't help but remember what had happened only hours before when my King had crawled into bed beside me. We had only kissed, and he had only just barely teased me with a few caresses, but nothing had happened after that. He had disappeared as always, and somehow I had managed to fall back asleep for a few hours at least. I had dreamed then for a short time about him, and it had caused me to jump up completely awake. When I had glanced at the clock it was only around seven. I admitted defeat then, and I crept outside onto the damp wood and popped open my pack of cigarettes. And there he was once more, although it wasn't a dream.

He lifted a questioning eyebrow as I stretched my injured arm between us, my hand traveling the short distance to caress the side of his face, the stubble there rough against my sensitive palm. I had to confirm to myself that he wasn't just another dream; I needed to have that constant reminder that although he was a demon he stood there before me, day after day, and he truly was interested in me. At least, I wanted to believe that he was. I had to believe that he wasn't merely just playing with me. If one day my King were to disappear completely and never return to me... I think I would die.

He took my hand and lifted it gently from his face before pulling me against him. My breath hitched in my throat at the sudden affection, and I tensed as his lips met mine. It was so unexpected that I had to take a moment to register what in the Hell had happened before I could even respond. It wasn't like him, or at least from what little I knew of him, to be so affectionate. It didn't matter. I was clinging to him the instant my brain cleared and the kiss intensified. I could feel myself pressing against his body as I tried to become as close as I possibly could; my pulse was racing as I realized just how good it felt to feel him like that – so close and so intimate. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed him in such a short time.

I gasped as he pulled his lips from mine and slid them around to the underside of my jaw. It was a wonderful torture against my now very sensitive skin as his hot breath drifted across my neck, his kisses turning into little bites that ended on my shoulder. I was ashamed at myself for the way I was reacting to such simple things, but there was just something about him. The way my King would look at me – how he had remained at my side even when I had reached my lowest, most pathetic point in my life. He hadn't left me then, so why was I such a fool to think he would ever leave me now that I was getting better? No, he wouldn't. I needed him, and I knew he wanted me.

"So easy to please. I merely have to touch you," he ran a hand slowly down my bare arm and smirked as I sighed, "and you crumble to pieces."

"I can't help it." I looked into his eyes as he started to back away, and I tightened my grip around his back. "Why do you always stop there? You can't keep leaving me like this."

"What, hot and bothered," he joked.

"It's not funny, Crowley."

"Of course not. You just need to learn patience, darling."

"I've been patient. How long have you been at my side now? Only just last night did we actually kiss for the first time since we'd met."

"It's only been a little over a month."

"I know, but-" I stopped abruptly as I caught myself. I had started begging, which I knew was pathetic. I had gone from the happy, shy woman he'd met a little over a month ago to a needy, over emotional wreck. It was his fault. Everything was his fault. If only he would just allow some affection; if he would only stop teasing me and give me the intimacy that I craved.

"I know what you want." He slid a hand down to my waist, and then around to the small of my back to sink even lower. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning as he tightened his grip, his body once again pressing tightly against mine as he teased me. He then leaned his head to the side to whisper in my ear, "but you must be patient. Temperance, love."

"At least- at least stay with me for a while, then." I took a deep breath as he pulled away once more, and this time I allowed it without a fight. My entire body suddenly felt cold, but at least he would stay with me for just a bit longer.


	3. Devil's Touch (sexually explicit)

The sunset that evening was a drastic contrast to that of the sunrise that morning. It was my time; I felt more at ease with the darkening sky as the heat from the day became chilled, and as the moon rose within the sky. This was my comfort, and the only time that I truly felt alive. It was the perfect moment to seek out a local lounge or club, which I had decided to do after a long day of absolutely nothing. I had chosen something simple to wear – a pair of black skinny jeans with a designer black shirt that was held up around my neck, the shoulders and back bare. I slipped into my leather wedge heels that had small spikes lining the top, and I hopped into my car. I checked my eyeliner in the overhead mirror one last time before I turned up the radio, and I was gone.

I lowered my window and let my arm fall out over the edge, my fingers combing through the fast breeze of the cool night air. The lights had already powered on over the highway, and I was in a strange surreal bliss as I felt the bass buzzing in my head. 'Beggin For Thread' by Banks blocked out any outside noises, so it was no surprise that my King had appeared in the passenger's seat unnoticed. He slowly twisted his hand in a circular motion as he psychically lowered the volume, which had finally gathered my attention. My nerves spiked and my heart jumped into my throat as I attempted to keep control of the wheel.

"I could have wrecked my car!"

"Hello to you as well." He lifted an eyebrow as he glanced in my direction, and I noticed that he had taken to observing me closely. A light blush lit up my cheeks as I returned his stare just long enough to catch the interest in his eyes. I had obviously chosen a more low-cut, tight outfit for my late night excursion, but I hadn't taken into account my King's possible presence. He knew of my location at all times, and I was aware of that, but in my rush to get out of the house it had slipped my mind. He had seen me in much less before; that night he had touched me for the first time, even though it was nothing more than a simple caress, I had been in my underwear and a large t-shirt. My outfit of choice for this night showed off much more without revealing as much skin, save for the cleavage peeking through the deep 'V' in my shirt caused by my push-up bra.

I sighed audibly and focused back on the road, my hand reaching out quickly to turn the music back to its ear-splitting volume. I was still slightly angry with my King for earlier that morning, although it was difficult to remain cross for very long. The spark his very presence ignited within me left me lightheaded, and I found myself wishing that I could just pull the car to the side of the road and take what I wanted. This strange aggressive desire that I had developed recently for him frightened me, however. Maybe that was the part of me that he had spoken of the night before, when he had tried to convince me of my worth. There was more to my mind and heart than even I was aware of, and my King obviously knew more about me than I did about myself.

The radio turned off via my King's wishes and a minor look of annoyance crossed his features. "You seem rather perturbed this evening."

"You left me a bit high and dry this morning, if you'll remember."

"Don't like teasing?"

"I don't mind teasing, but if it's masked with false pretenses then you might as well just keep your hands to yourself. It isn't fair."

"Who said my advances were based on false pretenses?"

I swallowed hard and noticed I had started speeding. I let off the gas pedal and tried to focus on the light traffic around me. It was time to begin playing hard-to-get. Two could play at that game, and I wasn't about to let him win. At least it would save me from moments like the one we had shared that morning, and I knew I needed to slow down for my own sanity. I needed to show my King that my resolve was much stronger than it had been before. This new game we had started began the moment he had tempted me with his touches, and I now understood that I couldn't break. Although it hurt to not give in to my desires, I had to show him I was worthy, that I was not weak.

I relaxed as I saw the sign for the lounge ahead, and I pulled into the parking lot. It was quite busy for a Friday night, and I could hear the music drifting through the air to the outside. My King joined me as I approached the front door; I was stopped momentarily as I dug into my purse for my I.D. It wasn't unusual for me to be I.D.'d twice in one night, as I looked much younger than I actually was. Often I would notice a double take before the guard at the door would hand the card back to me. Perhaps this was also the reason for the strange stares my King and I received as we walked into the music-filled lounge. I ignored them as I spotted a round booth near the center of the room across from the bar.

A waitress approached us as we sat behind the small round table, and I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea to begin the night. It was a rather strong drink, but with everything that had happened lately I felt it was much needed. My King ordered an expensive whiskey I'd never heard of, and then we were left to ourselves. I finally allowed myself to relax completely as the haunting indie music filled my head, and I reached into my purse for a cigarette. Once lit I inhaled deeply – something I didn't usually do. The head rush it provided caused me to sink back into the booth, my eyes drifting shut as I became completely serene in the moment.

I hummed in content as my King placed a hand on my thigh, our bodies now side by side. I felt his shoulder brush mine as he slid his hand higher, and I opened my eyes to search him for his intentions. He smirked back in response and spoke just loud enough for me to hear: "The game is on."

"Challenge accepted," I replied with a smile. Excitement shone behind his eyes as he chuckled, and I realized then that I had never heard him laugh. It was dark and mischievous, but I found it to be a dangerous aphrodisiac that I wouldn't have minded hearing once more. I then knew my goal, and that was to find every way possible to make him laugh like that again.

Our drinks were served and I had consumed well over half of my whiskey, gin, vodka, and rum mixture before my inhibitions had started to lower. I realized that I had drank much too fast, but the calm it caused to set deep within me brought about a lack of care. I tipped the glass and swallowed the rest of it before ordering another, and I giggled into my King's shoulder as I laid my head there. He no doubt found my actions highly amusing, and he took advantage of the situation. He uncrossed his legs and slid his arm around my waist, gently tugging me until I had slid over and up onto his lap. I sat facing the rest of the lounge and watched through the dim lighting and smoky haze of tobacco while others danced slowly by the speakers. It was a wonderful and dreamy atmosphere, and it was made even more unbelievable by my current position. I was very aware of my King's presence now, and I could feel his hands running slowly down my thighs. I inhaled deeply and tried not to squirm against him. I was very much regretting not wearing a dress for that night.

"Enjoying yourself, sweetheart?" He spoke quietly into my ear as his breath warmed the skin on my neck, and his hands continued their torturous caresses as they slid higher once more. I hadn't noticed my second drink as it sat collecting condensation on the table before me. My mind had become completely preoccupied with my King's hands once more, and I felt myself unconsciously leaning back into his body. I let out an audible sigh as I felt his lips smile against my throat. "It seems you're going to lose the game before it's even begun."

"Hey now, don't get so cocky." I moved to slide off of his lap to gather myself, but his arms quickly encircled my waist and held me in place.

"Ah, ah. No cheating."

"It's not cheating if there were never any rules," I whined.

"If you can't handle the heat, then by all means continue."

"I can handle anything you have to dish out, Crowley." I settled back into his lap and shifted my hips slightly, noting the moment his breath caught in his throat. "That also means you have to take whatever I happen to throw at you."

"That's more like it," he replied, his voice becoming husky. My pulse began to race as I realized his arousal, and I quickly reached forward to drink from my glass. I would need it after that, especially if I were to continue such a game in a public place. It was dark enough in the room to hide quite a bit, but I hadn't enough liquid courage to accept that fact. With that in mind, I followed with another drink before even setting the glass down, and I felt myself fall back into my King once more. I had never imagined in my short time of knowing him that things would have progressed to this level of intimacy, and I couldn't wrap my mind around the reality. I felt a surge of pride at the realization that I was sitting in the lap of a demon, the King of Hell himself, and he wanted me. No one but myself was aware of what he was, but that didn't take away from it.

I waited until he reached forward to take a drink from his glass before spreading my legs slightly, shifting my hips once more. It may have equally affected me, but I would make him beg first. I hadn't caught him off guard as I did before, and he merely grinned before setting his glass down. He ran his hand that was still on my leg even higher – higher and higher until I gasped in surprise. I bit my lip as his hand slid along my inner thigh, dangerously close to the growing heat that burned between my legs. I responded with a more insistent thrust of my hips back against him, and I was pleased to gain a small intake of breath from him.

"Such a naughty girl, you are."

"I'm going to make you give in."

"I doubt that." He moved me gently off of his lap before rising, taking a drink from his whiskey glass, and held out a hand. "Shall we dance?"

"Yeah- yeah sure." It had completely caught me off guard, and I hesitated for a moment before reaching out to take his hand in mine. As we walked to the floor I was reminded of the night we met. It had been the one blind date that had changed my life forever, and it had been the most successful to say the least. Back then I had been most skeptical, and I had even looked at my King strangely because I had expected someone much younger. His name was a strange one; not at all common and his manner of travel and security was more than a little overwhelming. There had been something in his eyes that drew me to him however, and as I danced with him I knew I was glad I'd given him a chance. Although a demon he was a gentleman, and that was something I lacked in my dating history.

He lifted his arm and spun me slowly into him, wrapping his arm around my waist and holding my hand close with his other. I had long forgotten about the odd looks we'd received before, and I focused solely on my King before me. I held onto his shoulder as we danced close to the speaker, and I became aware of his hand wandering down my back. I laid my head on his shoulder as I pressed against him and moved to the beat.

He tilted his head to the side and whispered in my ear, "care to turn up the heat on our game?"

"How?"

"Like this." His hand that held mine drifted down my arm and down to the curve of my hip, then back up to my chest. I groaned and let my eyes close, and I laid kisses on his neck as his fingers brushed across my cleavage. I felt an odd spark there where his skin contacted mine, and I grabbed the back of his suit in my fist as my heart leaped into my throat.

"What did you just do?"

"Do you mean..." He slid his hand down and under my shirt to rest low at my side. I gasped as I felt another spark of heat against my skin. "... this?"

"Oh god. Crowley, what are you doing?" I felt the need within me begin to burn as he rubbed his thumb up and down on my ribcage.

"I'm simply enhancing what is already there."

"If you're going to do that, can we at least go somewhere more private?"

"You're giving in?"

I lifted my head and looked into his eyes, a smile playing behind them. I had almost forgotten about the game. "No. I'm not." I brought both of my hands up his back and hooked them around his shoulders, and then leaned forward to place my lips against his. I was thankful for the loudness of the music next to us; my moans would have been audible otherwise. He had both hands low on my back now, pushing me tightly up against him as his fingers slipped past my waistline. The heat pulsed between my legs now along with the blood pumping through my veins, and my heart pounded madly in my chest. Everywhere he touched – every spot that his lips came into contact with on my neck and shoulder burned with heat, and I rolled my hips forward against him to feel his arousal against mine. "I want you Crowley."

"Oh, I know you do." He moved a hand around to the front of my jeans, his thumb circling the button. "And believe me, I want you too." His lips met mine once more and I moaned into his mouth. His thumb slipped beneath the waistband and slid along the elastic hem of my underwear, the touch igniting a fire that caused a tickle low in my belly. I latched onto him tightly to keep from crumbling to the floor as he slipped his hand into my underwear, just barely touching my heat before sending me into intense waves of pleasure. My head fell onto his shoulder once more and my mouth fell open in a long, breathy moan. It was drowned out by the haunting music, but I knew that I could not hold it back regardless. My King responded with a small, mischievous laugh. "Coming?"

I caught my breath before looking up at him to see the lust burning behind his eyes. "Yes, I just... fuck." I kissed him deeply until I had to surface for air. "How in the Hell did you just do that?"

"King a' Hell, love." He backed away and took my hand in his. "Shall we finish our drinks now?"

"I suppose." I followed him closely back to our booth where I sat and downed a good portion of my drink. I glanced around to see if anyone had been watching us, and was relieved to find that no one had noticed. "So, I lost."

"I'll give you a freebie since I like to play dirty."

"I don't think I exactly mind the playing dirty bit. I can play quite dirty myself." I reached over and slid a hand up his thigh. My head had begun to swim as the liquor seeped into my senses. "Just wait until we get to the car."


	4. Latching Onto You (sexually explicit)

My King had barely fallen into the passenger seat before I crawled in after him. The door remained open as I felt along the floor for the lever to lay the seat back, and I watched as it reclined in a rapid, smooth motion. The door slammed shut as he wished it after my legs were inside, and I straddled his hips before I was pulled tightly against him. I moaned as he kissed me roughly and responded with equal enthusiasm, digging my fingers into the finely tailored material covering his shoulders. I smiled against his lips as he chuckled, then pulled back to breathe. I knew I needed to slow down or everything would rush by before I knew what was happening. "What's so funny?"

"Just can't wait until we return?"

"The drive's too long." I began fumbling with his tie. "I don't want to wait, and I can't drive home after drinking." He grabbed my hands and squeezed them gently, gazing into my eyes with a devious expression.

"And you're able to think clearly as well, then?"

"That doesn't matter." I fought his grip but only managed to look silly in my attempt to regain my hands. "Crowley..." I whined and bit my lip in my attempt to coax him into allowing me what I wanted. He wasn't budging. He merely laid there, holding my gaze patiently until I fell forward slowly to bury my nose in the collar of his suit jacket. I groaned and let my full weight fall on him, sighing as I felt his hands release their grip on mine at last.

"You're highly inebriated, darling. I may be the King of Hell, but I enjoy my women coherent. Rape isn't my style."

"Bu' i' isn' rape," I mumbled into his jacket. "I know whu' I'm doin'."

"Let me make this easier for you."

I blinked once and found myself under the garage light in my driveway, my King still underneath me as I sat up in confusion. I cringed and then giggled as I bumped my head on the ceiling of the car, then looked around. It took my slightly clouded mind a few moments before I realized that I was home. "Well, that made things much easier."

"Shall we head inside?" He was already opening the door as I nodded, I instantly regretting the decision while the world spun. The few shots I had downed before leaving the club had done their job and were finally beginning to fully kick in. I still wasn't quite sure what was in them, but I really didn't care at the moment either. My King was still quite sober, but it didn't seem his style to get intoxicated.

"Hey, we should break out the Jack when we get inside-" I stumbled slightly and grabbed onto my King's shoulder before righting myself once more, then giggled and ran my hand through my hair. "I am so sorry. I honestly didn't intend to get this loaded. I'm such a lightweight." He flashed a smile in response as I attempted to walk across rocks in my heels, which I managed without falling. I glanced behind me to be sure he hadn't left me, and when I saw his form coming up the steps behind me to the front door I couldn't help but smile. Although my mind was altered, I did have to admit that for a King of Hell he was certainly a gentleman.

Once inside I slipped off my heels and escaped to the kitchen. I opened the pantry and pulled out a brand new bottle of Jack I'd been waiting to open, fighting with the cap before I managed to flip it across the room. I decided not to chase after it and tipped the bottle to the ceiling, taking a shot directly from the bottle before sliding over to the cupboard to grab two glasses. I wasn't even sure if the King drank the stuff, but regardless it would be a bit rude not to offer.

The ice clanked into each glass as I poured the whiskey over them straight. I then carried both glasses, nearly half full, into the front room where my King was resting on the couch, his arms spread across the back. I stopped – frozen in my tracks as I just stared at him. He lifted an eyebrow as he spotted the dumbstruck look on my face, and when I finally snapped out of whatever world I had disappeared into I crossed the room to the sofa, setting both glasses on the table before leaning back to join him. "Sorry, you just look so damn sexy like that."

"I do try."

"You drink Jack?" I handed him one of the glasses and watched as he swirled the ice within the amber liquid.

"My tastes run a little more refined."

"Stop being finicky and just down it already. I don't want to be the only one drinking."

He glanced at me before downing half of the drink, then closed his eyes as if in disgust. I laughed at his expression and downed half of mine in turn. It was oddly comforting sitting next to my demon King, just drinking together into the night. I was never certain if he would stay or leave, but I took the time to cherish the moment - a rare one that I wasn't quite willing to let go. It seemed he wasn't as keen to leave my side that night however, so I took advantage of the situation and slid close enough to crawl onto his lap facing him, my hands gently running up and down his expensive black button-up shirt. "Hey Crowley, why won't you sleep with me?"

"All good things come in time, love."

"Yeah, but why do I have to wait? You have no idea how painful it can get-" I rolled my hips against him and brushed my lips across his, "when I'm this turned on." I sighed as I felt his hands on my hips, but he wasn't attempting to stop my seductions. They slid down to my ass and squeezed, causing me to roll my hips forward again as I groaned and closed my eyes.

"Teasing is much, much more entertaining. Especially with you." His voice had dropped much lower, almost inaudibly so as I strained to listen to his temptations. "You come undone so easily. I don't even have to try with you." I kissed him quickly before he pulled back, his hands continuing their torturous path up and down my legs. "If I touch you," now back up to my waist, "anywhere on your skin," up my shirt and along my ribcage, "I can make you come. It's that easy."

"I want you inside me," I whispered in his ear, biting the sensitive edge and then licking it after. "That's how I want you to make me come."

"Don't you have a naughty mouth?" He leaned forward and kissed me hard, his sudden aggression catching me by surprise. I pulled his tie roughly apart as his hands lifted my shirt, and I laughed as my drunken mind struggled with which item to dispose of first. The decision was made for me as he pulled my shirt over my head, mussing up my hair and my glasses as it fell to the floor. My lips were on his again instantly and my fingers were clawing into his suit jacket, the only thing coherent on my mind that of a quick release. I could think of nothing else but that moment earlier in the night when he had touched me for the first time, and how I had wished then that we were alone instead of out there on the dance floor. That didn't matter anymore – at least now I had him where I wanted him, even though I knew in my heart that I wouldn't get what it was that I wanted more than anything. I wanted him to make me his. Somewhere along the way my goal had gotten interrupted by my ridiculous human emotions for him, and I no longer cared about getting better or anything else. It could have been the liquor influencing my thoughts, but I wanted to hear him say something that would let me know I wasn't just a project. I wanted to know that I wasn't just some toy that he would do away with when he was bored with our game.

As his hands reached around to fight with the hook to my bra I stopped, head slouching over to rest on his shoulder. That's when everything went downhill – and I cried. He ceased his fumbling and seemed to freeze on the spot, unsure of how to handle this turn of events. Just moments ago I had been all raging hormones, my body ready to take whatever pleasures he would allow me. Now I was a drunk crying mess, my tears staining the black material of his suit jacket that I was still clinging to for life. I waited for him to set his hands on my back, or for his arms to wrap around me; I wanted some sort of comfort that I knew he really wouldn't give.

I made a sound of surprise as his hand came to rest under my chin, lifting it gently to kiss me as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I was the first to pull back as embarrassment lit up my face. I covered my eyes with my hands in an attempt to hide my weakness from my King, but he had already seen enough. I knew I had to say something – had to apologize at least for my ridiculous outburst. "I'm s-sorry. I think I'm just drunk, I'm so sorry. Please don't think I'm too weak and leave me."

"Your problem is that you're simply too human." I slid my hands down to my mouth to hold back the outburst that wanted to flow forth at his words, but then he said something that caused my tears to stop: "And my problem is that I can't seem to resist you."

"You're not leaving me?" My words were full of a sudden hope that made my heart race. He didn't respond right away, but watched me as I stared back at him, my eyes wide and teary. When he did manage to speak, he took a deep breath and averted his gaze, agitation plain on his face.

"I believe a cold shower will do you much better than my company."

And then he was gone, leaving me fallen against the back of the couch, my mind spinning in an attempt to piece together what in the Hell had just happened.


	5. Desire (sexually explicit, TRIGGERS)

The sunlight hit my eyes like a thousand tiny needles stabbing at my brain, and my head was pounding with the worst headache I could remember having in ages. I sat up slowly, realizing that I was in the living room on the couch of all places, my bra half falling off and my shirt on the floor. I brushed my messy hair out of my eyes and tried to recollect my thoughts, and then a sudden horror gripped at my heart like ice. The scattered memories of the night before came back in waves, and I could feel my dignity flying out of the window at lighting speed. I groaned and leaned forward, head in my hands and embarrassment filling up every inch of my insides. My legs began to bounce nervously as they always did when I was anxious. I felt absolutely humiliated, and what made it worse was the vision of the two glasses on the table before me - one empty and the other still mostly full. I held back the tears that were threatening to fall, my head pounding even harder in response to my struggles. I swiped at the half-full glass of whiskey, downing it before dropping it on the floor. My stomach lurched and I felt absolutely horrible, every inch of me just wanting to die. I swallowed hard as nausea crept up my throat and looked around for any signs of the demon that had ruined my life. When I didn't see him I huffed humorlessly, the stale taste of alcohol still on my tongue mixed with the shot I'd just downed.

An overwhelming urge to be sick hit like a tidal wave and I jumped up, racing to the bathroom and making it just barely in time. A few minutes later I was standing at the bathroom sink splashing my face with water. I replaced my toothbrush back into its holder and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My head was ready to burst and the lights overhead were burning into my skull, my tears finally falling warmly down my face. The pain was too much - the humiliation was more than I could bear. I had fallen in love with a monster, a selfish asshole with not one human emotion in his entire body - if that was his body.

As I reached into the medicine cabinet my breathing came quicker until I felt lightheaded. Who exactly had I fallen in love with? Was I in love with the demon King Crowley, or was I in love with some random guy's body that was very possibly not my King's own flesh? A sob was forcefully ripped from my throat as I opened a new box of razors, accidentally cutting into my finger in my haste. My hand shook as I dropped the box save for one glistening piece of metal. It was an addiction that I couldn't ignore " a personal demon of my own that always made everything better. I needed to be blank, I needed to not feel a damn thing. My life was so fucked up it was unreal.

I tore off my jeans and fell to the floor, blood cascading down the pale flesh on my leg as I attempted to strip away every emotion I had ever felt. I wanted to be rid of the damn contract. I wanted to be rid of him. He was ruining me - killing me! Wetness dripped down my arm now, my blood latching onto the skin in small streams until it dripped onto the floor, staining the white sterile tile red. "Fuck you." I turned my arm over, the underside of my skin and the veins within enticing me to such terrible things. "Fuck you!"

"What in the Hell are you doing?"

I gasped and looked up into a pair of angry eyes, my demon King standing before me as I began to lose all coherent thought. "Fuck you Crowley." My voice was shaking, but I couldn't stop. He needed to know just how badly he'd fucked with my life, with my sanity. "Fuck you for ever daring to play with me! I'm not some toy you can just- can just-"

"Darling? What's happening?"

"The fuck do you... _care_?" My vision was beginning to go black. Everything seemed fuzzy, and my body seemed to fluctuate in temperature rapidly. As I swayed where I sat I focused on the demon before me, just standing there as neutral as he could be. He was watching me carefully with one eyebrow raised, his hands at his sides. It was my last sight before my body slumped against the door.

I awoke for the second time that morning with the sunlight stinging my eyes. I was outside that time, my half naked body lying against the rough wood of my front porch. I sat up slowly and cringed as I felt a stinging pain resonate along my arm and my left leg. Dried up blood was caked over the skin, and the mere memory of the awful act made me want to slap myself across the face. I took in a deep breath as the cool air caressed my face. Dried tears caused my skin to feel strange, and I blinked hard a few times to clear my vision completely. My headache had reduced significantly, and although I was still slightly nauseated it was barely even noticeable.

I then remembered my King's presence and looked around, finding him sitting in a metal chair with his legs crossed, hands neatly folded in his lap. "Crowley? Did you bring me out here?"

"Carried your dead weight, yes. Didn't want you to ruin your bathroom floor."

"So the bathroom floor was your main concern?" I stood and held onto the railing, not wanting to fall over again. The demon huffed and beckoned for me to approach him, which I responded to hesitantly. He frowned as I flinched when his hand reached out to touch me.

"What's got you so upset?"

"What's got me upset?" My jaw dropped and I slapped his hand away. "You disappeared last night, is what. I was so messed up and you didn't even think to take the liquor away from me. You let me make a fool out of myself. I bet you were laughing inside, weren't you?" His frown grew. "Another human play toy, another soul to collect after you've had your fun driving them mad?"

"You had better watch your tone with me."

"Fuck you."

My King stood from his chair and approached me, lifting his hand to grab a handful of my hair. I cried in pain as he tugged it roughly to make me look into his blazing eyes. "Don't you ever blame me for your petty human lack of self control. I am your King, not your keeper." I whimpered as he pulled me close to him, his hand still in my hair. He set his lips close to my ear. "It is your own fault that you tear yourself apart when I don't fuck you, do you understand me? I am not responsible for your repulsive emotions." He released me and stood back, watching my expression as I crumbled to pieces. He was right, and I was wrong.

"I'm.. I'm sorry." I bit my bottom lip as it quivered and I removed my glasses, covering my face with my hands. I was just another pathetic human with too many addictions - alcohol, cigarettes and self harm with a silent death wish to the side. I was messed up when I met my King, this demon that I've fallen for. I became much worse over time, but he remained at my side. Even then I couldn't understand why, and even now he still stood before me.

"Don't lie, you're not." He ran a hand down my side to where blood was crusting on my thigh, pressing his fingers into the injuries until I hissed in pain. "Get cleaned up." I nodded and realized I was standing in my bathroom before the sink once more. He was still there, leaning against the door with his arms crossed waiting for me to do something. I lowered my hands and watched him for a moment, replacing my glasses so I could see him in a clearer light. He raised both eyebrows as a sign to get a move on, and for some reason I blushed. After all we had been through, he had never seen me completely naked, and I had to shed the rest of my clothing to be able to shower.

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, first starting the shower and then removing my bra. My thumbs hooked into the sides of my underwear, hesitating for a moment before slowly sliding them down my legs. I closed my eyes and refused to open them until I was standing upright again, and only because I had to locate the counter to place my glasses on. I couldn't look at him; I stepped into the shower and pulled the clear curtain back into place - which did nothing to hide the water cascading down my naked body. I sighed loudly as the warm water hit my face, the sensation causing me to relax. I tilted my head slightly to look at my King - he still standing against the bathroom door just watching me. Was he punishing me? Part of me thought so, because I knew he could sense my discomfort.

Our eyes met briefly before I quickly focused on my shampoo bottle. I washed my hair slowly to have an excuse to keep my eyes closed, and to not have to give in to the temptation of meeting his gaze. My body began to burn as I felt his eyes caressing my every curve - the very knowledge that he was so interested in my naked form made my stomach flutter. Rather it was the steam or my racing heart I found it difficult to breathe - my chest was rising and falling as my eyes glanced briefly at the demon King watching my every move. The intensity of the moment continued as the blood washed from my legs, the red streaks there glowing brightly as they became inflamed. I took care to scrub them to avoid infection, which honestly wasn't my biggest concern.

The faucet squeaked as I turned off the water and stood hunched over. Water droplets were tickling my face as they slid down my clean hair, a few of them sliding into my eyes. I blinked hard before standing and opening the clear curtain. I was surprised to find a black business jacket draped over the toilet, and I looked up to find my King standing there with fire in his eyes, his tie loose and his sleeves rolled to his elbows. My heart skipped a beat as his hand reached out to grab my arm, pulling me roughly against him and embracing me in the most sensual kiss we'd ever dared to share. I felt his fine-tailored clothing clinging to my naked form, still damp with the water and condensation from the steam drifting about the bathroom. It made it difficult to breathe at all, my gasps turning into moans as my breath was torn from me.

I pressed my body tightly against him as his hands slid down my warm skin, his nails digging into my hips as I rocked against him. I could feel the want rising within him, causing his movements to become jerky and uncoordinated as he turned us around, still latched together. My back slammed against the door as he began devouring my neck, my legs shaking as his free hand wasted no time in searching out my sex. I bit my lip as complete euphoria coursed through me; for the very first time I felt his fingers inside of me. I dug my nails into his arms as I rocked against his hand, my cries echoing off of the bathroom walls as well as the lewd sounds emanating from between my thighs. "Please... please!"

"Begging suits you quite well, kitten." His fingers slid quickly to his belt as he nearly ripped the thing open, doing the same with his pants. Two hot tears streaked down my face as I hugged onto him and smiled into his neck. The waiting that had nearly killed me only hours before was finally at an end " he was finally giving in. I was his.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his shoulders as he lifted me from the floor, my legs wrapping around his waist to gain security. I held my breath as I felt him enter me. My head began to spin with animalistic desires I hadn't felt in so long, and I was pushing against the door as I moved on him. I was instantly slammed against the door hard as he pinned me there, his lips ghosting over my ear. "I control this, you don't."

"Please, Crowley." He brought his head back far enough for our foreheads to touch. I tilted my head just enough to capture his lips before biting the bottom and running my tongue across it. "Use me. Make me hurt, slam my body against this door, but please just fuck me." My last coherent thoughts dissipated in the heat building within my body as he thrust harder and harder into me, the bathroom door banging against the the door frame as it strained against the lock. As I came I latched onto his shoulder with my teeth, my screams muffled by his black shirt. It wasn't much longer before he was spilling into me, my legs squeezing tightly around his waist as the foreign feeling coursed through my insides. My next words I uttered quietly against his neck, part of me hoping he wouldn't catch them: "I love you."

"That's unfortunate." He allowed me to unwrap my legs from him and I stood shakily on my own two feet.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Sentiment is useless." He was already replacing his jacket when he focused on me once more, his eyebrow raising as uncontrollable tears streamed down my face. "However, I have been known to make exceptions to my own rules." He crossed the room to place a hand beneath my chin, kissing me lightly before placing his hand on the door knob beside me. "But that doesn't mean I like you, or anything." I watched with confusion as a small grin crept onto his face, and I moved aside to allow him to exit the bathroom. Was he actually attempting to joke with me? I grabbed my towel and flung the door open, a wide smile on my face. He was already gone, but I shouted into the empty house regardless.

"Love you too Crowley!"

_A few months later_

"Please."

I sat on the stiff, blue plastic bed and cried. I had already asked for my emergency anxiety medication from my nurse, received it, and it was only a matter of time before it was well on its way to the wonderful sedation it would send throughout my system. I had to calm down - needed the calm more than anything, or so I thought. As I placed my head in my hands and rocked gently back and forth, my nervous tremors wracking my body, I realized I needed _him_ more. "Hey, are you there? Please don't abandon me now."

"Here we again." My King rolled his eyes as his designer shoes clacked across the institutional floor. His hand slid into his pockets as he came to a stop at the edge of my twin-sized bed, his head and torso swiveling about to better observe my pathetic surroundings; the tiny bathroom with no locking mechanism, the oddly placed sink at the far corner of the dark room, the blue plastic shelves that were bolted to the floor - my bed and shelves were mirrored on the opposite side where my room mate was currently, thankfully, absent. It was nothing like the atypical psychiatric ward room in popular fiction, but a sad, lonely, and sterile place.

My King sighed in frustration and sat beside me on my bed, his arm outstretching almost hesitantly. Fresh tears fell down my face as I leaned against him, his arm wrapping around my back. I cried more than I'd cried in a while, and he just sat there with me, patting and rubbing my back without a word. He was my only hope. My nurse had shown no emotion to my struggles. She'd given me my medication and sent me to bed alone, leaving me to my incessant sobbing within the dark, cold room that I'd learned to associate with negligence.

I took in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, then repeating the motion again, and again until I felt my heartbeat slow and my head began to slightly swim. "That's it, just breathe," he soothed, "but don't hyperventilate." I snorted laughter at his words.

"Why are you being so kind to me, Crowley? I thought you didn't do affection?"

"I don't, bun especially icky part of myself cares about your sorry ass."

"How kind..." I wiped my nose on my gray sweater sleeve and he cringed.

"Besides, anyone would be miserable in a Hell-hole like this."

"They don't care!" I squeezed the material on his sleeve as my sadness turned to an embarrassing despair. "I'm not supposed to even be in this unit. This is where they put people to fucking detox. It's high security. If you get upset, anxious, scared, or express any kind of emotion to reach out in hopes for sympathy, you're screwed. They don't sympathize with you - they don't talk with you or help you feel better. They're cold. Fucking cold. They leave you to yourself because you're just another crazy to them, or another deadbeat-"

He silenced my venting by placing a finger on my lips, then bringing my head up by lifting my chin, he kissed me. "I may be a demon, but I do get a headache."

"Sorry."

"You didn't ask for this, love." He stood, straightened his black suit jacket and walked to the window. He gazed out over the night, the parking lot and empty pavement below lit by street lamps. "Humans are toxic to each other. They destroy each other for personal gratification." My King turned to look at me then, a slight flicker of red in his eyes. "Why do you suppose I became a demon?"

"You sold your soul for a bigger-"

"Bugger that! No, I was once a terrible, abusive, alcoholic sad excuse for a human being. I beat the shit out of my son, women were my playground - new flavor of the week. I had absolutely no 'life' to speak of, and I was waiting for the day that death knocked at my door." He spread his arms wide. "Now? I'm a bloody King. I have purpose and meaning. I have no need for guilt, or shame, or sex, or any other ridiculous emotion that you humans possess. Beings fear my very presence, they know that to fuck with me is instant death at the snap," he demonstrated this, thankfully only in gesture, "of a finger. It's liberating down here, darling. When you get your act together, you will see just how liberating it can be." He held out his hands for me to take, and he lifted me off the bed to stand before him. "You will no longer need the medication. Places such as this will become distant nightmares. You will be a fucking Queen of Hell, kitten. If that isn't enough incentive to go on for you to become better, then perhaps I should rethink our little contract."

"No, no don't leave me." My medication was finally beginning to kick in and drowsiness consumed me. My words came a bit slurred as I attempted to keep a hold on my thoughts. "Everyone always leaves me. Don't you leave me too. I love you."

"I'm not leaving." He said the words as if they had left a sour, disgusting sentimental taste in his mouth. "But you must get some rest. We will continue our little chat tomorrow." He left me then, and I was still standing in the middle of the room like an idiot, arms outstretched in midair. I lowered them and stared ahead through the window screen, my mind instantly creating a vivid fabrication of the cool air outside. The lack of institutionally sterilized air was a most pleasing notion. It was freedom out there. It may have only been my second night in that awful ward, but I was ready to leave. With my King at my side, I could do anything.


End file.
